Why is getting d supposed to be more emotionally scarring than just plain getting your a** kicked?

It takes away the choice from you, and you're purity, I'm guessing. And being a man, makes it worst. Besides fighting can go either way, you can get the winning punch and knock them to the ground. But with this you normally just get scared, psychically and emotionally. Seen it in prison, been done to other guys, never me. I was too tough and hairy.